Nov
23rd
Sun
23rd
< and use that 'term sheet' as toilet paper >
DONT’ PITCH ME BRO.
— Nair
Oct
14th
Tue
14th
so true!!!
Lick the Dust, Make it before the sunset
When you’re falling awake and you take stock of the new day,and you hear your voice croak as you choke on what you need to say,well, don’t you fret, don’t you fear,I will give you good cheer.Life’s a long song Babe …
U won’t understand it now, but one day:
If you wait-then your plate I will fill.
As the verses unfold and your soul suffers the long day,and the twelve o’clock gloom spins the room,you struggle on your way.
Well, don’t you sigh, don’t you cry, lick the dust from your eye.
Life’s a long song Babe …
U won’t understand it now, but one day, We will meet in the sweet light of dawn.
As the Baker Street train spills your pain all over your new dress,and the symphony sounds underground put you under duress,well don’t you squeal as the heel grinds you under the wheel.
Life’s a long song Babe …
U won’t understand it now, Make it fast Babe , Coz the tune ends too soon for us all.
Feb
14th
Thu
14th
Once upon a time we had a lot to fight for … We had a dream, we had a plan …. Sparks in the air we spread a lot of envy Didn’t have to care once upon a time ! Remember when I swore ” My love was never ending And you and I would never die”
Remember when I swore … We had it all
Sail away, it’s time to leave … Rainy days, are yours to keep … Fade away, the night is calling my name … You will stay, I’ll sail away
Once upon a time we used to burn candles … We had a place to call a home The dream that we lived … was better than divine … Everyday was like a gift, Once upon a time!!!
Remember when you swore ? “Your love was never ending, That you and I will never die”
Remember when you swore? We had it all , We’d never fall!!!
No reason to lie, No need to pretend, I’m grateful to die, To live once again
I’m fearless to fly, And reach for the end !!!
Sail away…. The night is calling my name !!!
Oct
14th
Sun
14th
Jan
12th
Fri
12th
Fat man's pinch?
The Boss told us
“You guys are professionals. The best. I’m sure you can make it out of the market war. Of course, lest we forget, once you’re out the front door, you’re still in the middle of the fucking desert!”!
If you are talking about management principles – I guess what you have learned over two fucking years in college won’t do – I believe! At least I believe in this!
Strategies: Management Strategies, Decision Making – World Leader in Consumer Insurance: Client Dog CEO asked me –
“Mr. Nair tell me, what should we do! I’m outta nuts, I’m growing old, fucking shareholders holding my ass and pinching!”
Nair : Hang on a minute, hang on… we could use a pinch.
The Boss : What’s a “pinch”?
Nair : A pinch is a device which creates, like, a cardiac arrest for any broadband electrical circuitry. Better yet, a pinch is a bomb - now, but without the bomb. See, when a nuclear weapon detonates, it unleashes an electromagnetic pulse which shuts down any power source within its blast radius. Now that tends not to matter in most cases, because the nuclear weapon usually destroys anything you might need power for anyway.
But see, a pinch creates a similar electromagnetic pulse, but without the fuss of mass destruction and death. So instead of Hiroshima, you’d be getting the seventeenth century!
Solution ! Eurokaa! Somebody have to run out of the boardroom Butt Naked!
[Btw people have you understood the solution? Yes? Cool! You are a rockstar ! Nope? Looser!]
Soft porn in hotel! Once cute receptionist shaked my hand [thank you: I know the English is wrong here, sorry I think in My mother tounge and convert it into English – I prefer things my way]
She asked me: You have hard but lovely hands. Do you moisturize?
I said,
“You know, I’ve tried all sorts of moisturizers. I even went fragrance free for a whole year. Now my Naomi babe, she uses some kind of blah blah uh uh aloe vera with a little sunscreen in it, and ideally, we should all wear gloves when going to bed, but I found out that that creates a kind of an interference with my… social agenda, you know what I mean.?”
Well she went numb! I’m happy - she won’t disturb me with pink questions anymore! If she needs Cannon – she’ll call 288 that’s my room number and ask for one!
Board of Directors – another set of decision makers, in or out of a VC backed company.
Lady asked me “Mr Nair , the purpose of this hearing is to determine, whether, if released, you are likely to break the law again. While this was your first conviction, you have been implicated, though never charged, in over a dozen other confidence tricks and frauds. What can you tell us about those?”
Fuck its not a court! Ask me anything about moisturizers, I’ll tell ya!
Dear Maa’m! Your profession has, as usual, destroyed your brain!
“That’s an opinion Mr. Nair” She’s ON now!
Nothing exists except atoms and empty space, everything else is opinion” I replied
One Pink English lady – that’s a beautiful view. She’s got a smile now. “You know Mr. Nair, The Trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat”!
Smiles can do magic! After couple of hours the discussion was something like this “Marry, I’m thin, but I am fat inside. Has it ever struck you that there’s a fat man inside every thin man”?
Amen!
“You look down, they know you’re lying and up, they know you don’t know the truth. Don’t use seven words when four will do. Don’t shift your weight, look always at your mark but don’t stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don’t make him laugh. He’s got to like you then forget you the moment you’ve left his side. And for God’s sake, whatever you do, don’t, under any circumstances…”
Jan
14th
Mon
14th
Caffeinated Viagra Beer!!!
Folks! Let’s talk about Innovation!
What’s in your mind now? Steve Jobs? Larry Ellison? Bill Gates? Blogger guy? Dell Dude?
Yeh! What’s common in all of the above? Innovation? Jerk! It’s The “Dropout” factor!!!
Drop-Out? Yeh! They dropped out from those gr8 Colleges and Universities and even from Kinter Garten!
Then what? I’ll tell u a story!
Story of a College Dropout approaching a Venture Capital Firm for Seed Funding.
[I’m going to tell the real business potentials in a “Naked Way”. So if ur feeling like “Ohh my Virgin Ears”, quit now]
Everything’s 2.0 these days, u know! Second generation. Web 2.0, Mobile 2.0, Venture Capital 2.0, Techno 2.0, Girl Friend 2.0 and whole bunch of Mash up theories and all geeks stuffs happening around.
OHK!!! 2.0!
You designed a Prostitute Hiring Web 2.0 portal, mashed with Google Maps. That’s second generation. That’s innovation: Ur making those hungry old frustrated fellows life easier. You born a bit late. For this idea, you’ll get a VC funding in 1999, not in 2007.
But what about making a technology to bridge these Google maps to Car GPS?
Bingo!!!!
Texas Pacific Group, KPCB, YCombinator, Cannon Partners, Battery Ventures … My god ur phone systems’ be jammed with private equity associate phone calls!!!!
“Wow! What a technology! You are making a gr8 move to the world’s oldest profession” - One old VC commented!
“I’m excited about the innovative idea these kids working’ on. This will create a new form of work force, and you can call them “Yellow Collar Jobs”! Senior Partner said to NewsWire.
The next PWC MoneyTree report will be how to cut down costs and It’ll quotes Peter Bendor Samuel and His TINA theory: “Outsource the back Office to India. Profit margins’ll go up”!!!
Fellow geeks are pretty smart, they even connected the Mash into Y-Combinator funded Loopt. So there’ll be a “Blink” voice in ur cell phone while a Pros’ around! How Cool Is that!!!!
You just don’t have to hang around in Bars and keep repeating “Nice Shoes…wanna “ ?
Innovation babe!!! Innovation!!! All u need to Do is Keep ur ass somewhere and Think!!!
So story continues:
Fellow geek’s now familiar with how to Translate Codes to $$$! He made a wonderful Business Plan [less thann 16 pages] , cool demo, wonderful flash animations … Super cool Presentation in short!
Scene #1: Hungry Associates to Dog faced Sr. Partners sitting inside the flashy conf room. Kid Associate is showing off his brand new Tablet PC swinging around and scribbin some crap and showing it to Sr. Partners sexy young EA.
Scene #2: Geek enters with a smile and here we go…the presentation!!!
Scene #3: Demo. Sr. Partner Checked the demo and he ordered a hook, Its so Cheep!!! [Cost Effective] He yelled! [ Ooops! Turned silent] Look for just $775 I’ve got one Babe Naomi! WOW!!! This’s gonna ROCK Dude!!!
Scene #4: QA Round. Geek answered all questions.
Scene #5: That it! You are a genius Andy! The senior partner appreciated the young geek!
“One Last Question!” hey that’s our Hungry Young Harvard Kid Associate ” Are you a drop Out?”
“Yeh” ! Smiled Andy - Our Geek
Which College? Hungry Young Harvard’s pretty conscious about Tags, I guess
“Punjab Technical University - Part Time” Answered Andy!
“FUCK OFF!!!!!” Dog Yelled!
”We just fund Stanford Drop-Outs!!! Your innovation SUCKS!!! So Shit! How could u even think about such a shit class product?” Dog’s really angry!
“Get lost from my office I say” that was the last audible lines for Andy. Rest were just echoing from somewhere “Your product sucks Andy, coz ur not a Stanford Drop Out”
“Pay That Babe Naomi I’ve booking over your Stupid Demo” Dog’s very much sure about that ” Fuck I’m getting late for my Golf”!!!
Andy say one Velvette Black chick! He pulled his wallet and gave her $775 and walked away …
So people, thats the story! Now tell me u Non Harvard, Non Wharton, Non Stanford fellows? Please don’t even think about innovation. Fuck You Suck! You guys CAN’T THINK!!! You CAN’T Innovate!!!
Even if u innovates, It Sucks!!!
Got it? Keep in Mind!!!
So Whats the story now? Andy Live happily ever After with his Infosys Job? Nope!
He’s thinking about Web 2.0 again.
A Contract Killing portal mashed with Google Maps! He’s going to acquire Hitman
Its so user friendly, you just have to feed the Target details and your credit card details. The soft ware is so intelligent that, it’ll connect it with Google Maps and GPS. WOW!
BJVenture Partners invested in it and making hell lot of money. Kris’s another venture Guns and Roses Corporation is providing the procurement technology and ROCKIN!!!
It’s covering more areas in California, especially Menlo Park and Sand hill Road! Doing some good business because Stanford University has some 300 seats only.
Whenever I think about eBay or Amazon or even ThinkNext.com, I think about my good old days! I think about my First year of college, burning my midnight oil making the first prototype of my dream site MyShoppingCart.com back in 1998! Before people started thinking about eBay or Bazee!
Fellow Venture Capitalist told me, “Look son, you are 17 years old, you are a Physics Student and no one from your family’s doing serious business. And I can’t trust your age and Physics background”.
It’s an Open Ended Question. I tried hard to convince that Dog Faced Money Bag with Industry best practices and all those crap.
“Sorry I’m not seeing any potential in your product…” That was a Close Ended Answer! I know!
Today I sit back and think about all those things, I remember 17th law of Gun Running
“There are two types of tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want, the other is getting it.”
Long Live Guns !!!
